Do you constantly hear yourself say, ‘my husband is miserable in our marriage?’ Or maybe you want him to get out of this miserable husband syndrome?
Well whatever it is, you have landed on the correct page that will help you help your husband and make your marriage happy again. From reasons for an unhappy husband to signs of a failing marriage to tips for helping your miserable negative husband, you will know it all by the end of this guide. So with that said, let’s get started:
Why my husband is unhappy with his life?
If you are wondering why my husband is miserable in our marriage, then you need to understand that there can be several factors at play here. Maybe he is finding it hard to accept the change that marriage brings. Most of the men believe that marriage is just an addition to their life, but in reality, it is their new life where they are finally grownups, and usually, they don’t like it at first and, thus, the misery.
There can also be another factor that is feeling like they are not being appreciated. We suggest that you do a quick self-analysis and see if you are doing something to contribute to this. Maybe you are constantly comparing him to other men?
Or maybe you are taking his sacrifices for granted? Maybe he is trying to adjust to this new life, but you are not supportive enough? Try to find out why you have a miserable negative husband by observing yourself first, and you should get the answer.
Top 5 unhappy marriage signs:
-
Lack of Intimacy:
The first sign can be the distance between you both physically and emotionally. Intimacy is the biggest factor that contributes to marriage. If your relationship lacks it, it is one of the signs of a failing marriage.
-
Checking Out:
Maybe you are physical with each other, but on a mental level, you have checked out somewhere else. You are together but not attentive to each other. You are occupied with your own thoughts and not really caring what the other person is doing—another sign of a desperately unhappy marriage.
-
Awkward Silences:
Even if you are both present-minded when together, you don’t have much to talk about, and the silence is worse than talking. The heaviness of silence is making you both run from there, but you are bound by the same home you live in.
-
You Play Blame Game:
Another one of the signs of a failing marriage is that when something bad happens in your lives, instead of recognizing and accepting your mistakes and working on correcting them like a team, you start blaming each other.
-
You Don’t Fight Anymore:
Do you know what’s more deadly to a marriage than the burning taunts and arguments? The cold silence. The fact that you don’t even bother to argue anymore states that you have just given up on even trying to make contact with each other even if it’s through arguments.
Why does my husband blame me for his unhappiness?
If you think ‘my husband is miserable in our marriage’ because he always blames you for his unhappiness, then there may be some underlying causes for this. Have a look at a few of them:
- Maybe your husband is just stressed either professionally, financially, or because of family life. Sometimes when people are stressed, they look for an easy way to express their frustration and anxiety, which can be in the form of blaming.
- As we talked about above, marriage is a lifestyle and not just an addition to your life, which men find hard to accept. So maybe your man has miserable husband syndrome because he doesn’t want to accept the changes marriage brings to his life and is blaming you for all of these changes.
- Maybe your husband is just a narcissist, as there are around 2% of people with this disorder around the world. So if that’s the case then you need to understand that being a narcissist, he won’t take the blame for anything that goes wrong in your relationship, he will only blame it on others.
What should you do if you don’t love your husband but can’t leave?
Do you usually find yourself thinking, ‘my husband is miserable in our marriage?’ and you don’t love him anymore because of that? Maybe you want to leave him, but you just can’t? Well, we suggest that before leaving him, you should at least try to work on your marriage as long as you can. But if nothing works then do the following things before leaving him:
- The biggest challenge you will be having is paying the bills. So start working on getting a good job. Once you do, you can survive without him.
- The second thing is the children; if you have children, then there will be a problem with their custody. Now that you have money coming in talk to a good lawyer and discuss your options.
- Lastly, before talking to him about leaving him, ask yourself, if you have one year to live, would you or would you not live with this guy? Go deep, and if you have no feelings for him, then dump him for good.
But if you find signs that you still have feelings for him, then I suggest you try to talk to him to solve your issues and give your marriage another chance. Start working on yourself to ensure your husband has no problems with you – I know it sounds unfair, but women are stronger than men, they can change themselves quickly.
Why does my husband say he loves me but is unhappy?
If your husband loves you, but you still find him sad or depressed, then there can be many reasons for it. Maybe you both are not spending some quality time together and are busy in your own lives?
Or maybe you complain a lot and blame him even for small things without acknowledging your own mistakes, another factor for not just unhappy husbands but unhappy marriages.
Furthermore, if you are with each other 24/7, then try giving him and yourself some separate time from each other to cool off.
Lastly, some couples, especially wives, constantly check up on their husbands, don’t do that, it can make your husband think you don’t trust him and thus, make him unhappy.
Which is preferable: an unhappy marriage with kids or living alone?
No one would want to just abandon their kids if they are in the right state of mind. Kids are your present and future, they are your flesh and blood, and you cannot just ignore them. So if you are faced with the choice of either abandoning them or living without them, then you need them.
Even if you are getting a divorce, you need to work something out legally to keep your children with you and let their father meet them once a week or share joint custody where you both get to keep them some days a week.
How to end stress from living with a miserable husband?
- Make Peace: To end the stress, you need to accept the problem causing it, and that is to make peace with the fact that you cannot make your husband happy. Just remember, you are not completely responsible for his happiness; it is something that comes from within.
- Don’t Point It Out: Even if you know why he is unhappy, don’t tell him that because you may be wrong. You might see him working on his car for hours, and you say that you don’t have any other hobby, and that’s why you are unhappy, but maybe working with his car is the only thing making him happy?
- Give Him Space: If he is unhappy, try to give him space for his unhappiness. Instead of asking him why he is unhappy all the time, just let him be, some battles are for him to fight on his own. And if he discusses the reasons with you, then you can help him get out of it.
Is divorce better than an unhappy marriage?
The heart of this question is, ‘should I leave my miserable negative husband or not?’ And to be honest, leaving something is easier, especially if you have the reasons too, but if you choose to stay and work on it, it can be worth a lifetime. Can anyone guarantee you that the next husband you will find will be better than the current one? What if he is worse?
Now I am not saying that you need to cling to him like superglue for the rest of your life. But you should at least try working on fixing your marriage first, try to talk to him, discuss your issues on neutral ground and with respect, and if nothing works, try couples therapy as a last resort, but don’t give up on your marriage just yet.
Conclusion:
You started reading this guide with the question of why my husband is miserable in our marriage, but now you not only know about his miserable husband syndrome, but you also know the signs of a failing marriage. So we suggest that you close your computer and start working on improving your marriage.
