“And they lived happily ever after… or did they?” That’s what fairy tales often depict marriages. Although there are some tell tale signs your marriage is over and in trouble.
But in truth! marriage is not the be-all and end-all. It’s the start of a new journey with your partner. However, the journey doesn’t always end in happy endings. At times, it leads you to two different paths.
How do you know if you’re bound to separate ways, or is the marriage still worth fighting for? The reality is marriage isn’t always a walk in the park or the fairy tale romance you ever dreamed of.
If there’s anything, it’s full of twists and turns, humps, and bumpy roads that could shatter the image you engraved in your mind. This article seeks to help you unearth some of the tell tale signs your marriage is over. and know when to reverse or charge forward.
How do you know when your marriage is really over?
Marriage is about both parties sharing and loving each other. Each partner contributes to the relationship. For when there’s an imbalance, conflict arises. When left unresolved, it could lead to a broken marriage.
Here are 5 signs your marriage is failing:
1. Lack of quality communication
A healthy, married life is built on trust and open communication. However, if one partner starts to stonewall — keep the other out — it can lead to disengagement, estrangement, then divorce. Check yourself if your conversation starts or ends with:
- Arguing on petty things
- Lack of meaningful conversations
- One person always win when you’re arguing
- Ends with name-calling or verbal abuse
- Old arguments or hurts resurface
One of the loveless marriage signs that can shatter every relationship is keeping tab of your previous mistake or irreconcilable differences. For this alone could turn a petty fight to a massive argument, enough reason for the other person to start hiding their feelings and expressing their thoughts.
2. The growing distance between you and your partner
When your partner’s mere presence is suffocating or avoids you, this means there’s already a distance ensuing between you and your husband.
The last thing you’d ever want to be is feeling lonely in their midst. Because if you do, this means you’ve already drifted away, and the other can no longer fill in the emptiness in your heart.
3. Romance is no longer in your vocabulary
Trapped in the mundane of providing and taking care of your family, you and your partner fall into a routine for survival. Stress at work and home takes over your lives, leading you to drift apart and exert effort to spend time with you.
When they deliberately shone you off after you reach out a few times, be wary of your husband’s emotions towards you.
When you’re married, romance should never stop. In fact, it should grow stronger as time goes by. Romantic gestures and intimacy fuel the relationship. Without it, your married life can turn sour and breakdown.
Infidelity is one of the products of troubled relationships. When the other tries to find comfort in others rather than bridging the gap, your marriage is in trouble.
4. When one becomes abusive
When you are abused, whether verbal or physical, it’s a surefire sign that your marriage is over.
Know that no one has the authority or power to abuse you, even your partner. The truth is your husband will never hurt you if they care and love you. It was and never will be an act of love.
5. Trust Issues
Love and trust are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Lack of trust could lead to further alienation. When your partner starts hiding things from you like phone bills, bank accounts, or who they were with, it’s a telltale sign that something’s amiss.
In other situations, they can be too controlling to the point that you can no longer breathe. You lose your identity. It is hard to stay in a relationship where you always had to walk on thin ice.
The worst thing that could happen is when your partner doesn’t even ask forgiveness or excuse for what they are doing. Instead, they become defensive, shifting the blame on you.
When to leave your marriage
Leaving a marriage isn’t as easy as changing the tires of your car. When two lives have been intertwined, untangling these relationships is complicated.
Among the five telltale signs that indicate the marriage is ending, an abusive husband is at the top of why you should leave the relationship at once. While others find it challenging to get out of a troubled relationship, safety always comes first.
Don’t waver and find help immediately at the first sign of danger. Staying in the relationship is equivalent to giving your partner the power to hurt you continuously. Remember, threatening someone is a criminal act.
Thus, you are covered by the judicial law and can claim for protection. This is an instance where divorce is no longer an option but a MUST.
Saving your marriage
Here are 7 tips on saving your marriage from a breakdown:
- Be open to your partner’s feelings. Whether they want out or not, hear them out. Listen without judgment.
- Take responsibility. Marriage is a two-way road. Both partners are at fault. Thus, you have to acknowledge and validate their emotions.
- Learn to give other space while you sort out your own emotions. Adding pressure to each other will only result in the other person running away from you.
- Accept your own flaws and work on improving them. You can’t expect your partner to complete you. First, you have to change and love yourself before you can expect others to do the same. Emotional maturity starts in improving your self-worth and confidence. In that way, you lessen the pressure on the other person and only love them for who they are, not what you want them to become.
- Reconnect. Think as if you’re meeting each other for the first time. Rediscover each other before jumping again into the relationship. You might see things that you have disregarded all along.
- Agree on specific parameters. Shift the focus from what’s in it for you to what will make the relationship work. Create ground rules on how to resolve issues if they arise.
- Last but not least, look for a third party counselor to patch things up for you. Often, other people can see viewpoints that you fail to see as a couple. Check this link to find how you can turn things around >> The Secret to a Devoted Marriage
A perfect divorce doesn’t exist, no matter what the reason is. The truth is no one entered into a marriage thinking they will divorce in the end. Marriage is a commitment and a choice that you have to make every single day.
Before diving into cutting things altogether, Have a look to save your marriage program.