Wondering how to bring intimacy back into a marriage to truly enjoy the company of your husband? Maybe you cannot put up with the lack of physical or emotional intimacy in marriage anymore? Well, if that’s the case, then this guide will definitely help you out.
We have not only talked about signs and reasons for lack of intimacy in marriage, but we have also provided practical tips for rebuilding intimacy in marriage that will help you improve your relationship with your partner. So without wasting any time, let’s start from the basics:
What is intimacy in a relationship?
Before knowing how to bring intimacy back into a marriage, you need to Know exactly what intimacy is!
So, in short, it is an interpersonal relationship involving emotional or physical intimacy. We will further discuss the types of intimacy in the section below to give you a clearer idea. But understand that regardless of the type of intimacy, it plays a key role in making or breaking a marriage.
Intimacy in any relationship builds over time, so you need to be very patient and put the effort in your relationship to be more intimate with your spouse. In fact, many people judge the relationship on the basis of how close they feel to each other and how deeply intimate they are with each other.
What are the four types of intimacy?
This is when two or more people bond during free-time activities such as fishing, camping, or even a sports game. This type of intimacy can be with anyone and not only with your partner. For instance, a father and son playing “Catch” together.
This is when people share their deep feelings and even the uncomfortable ones with someone and feel safe while doing so. For instance, a woman sharing her concerns about her body image after pregnancy with her husband comes under emotional intimacy in marriage.
When you feel comfortable sharing your opinions and ideas with someone, you develop the intellectual intimacy. For instance, two friends debating the meaning of life.
This one is strictly for couples, and you develop this type of intimacy when you engage in sexual or sensual activities with your partner. For instance, a husband and wife engaging in foreplay.
Lack of intimacy in marriage signs:
Before you know how to bring intimacy back into a marriage, you need to know the signs of lack of physical or emotional intimacy in marriage. So let’s see a few of them:
- The first sign of lack of intimacy in marriage is when you are indifferent towards your spouse, which means not caring about them or what they do.
- You start to resent your partner even if these are the small things they do, and you hide these feelings from them which one day explodes like a volcano.
- You start keeping secrets from him.
- You have to be present to be intimate, but if you start to disappear often or avoid spending more time with your spouse, this might be another sign of a lack of intimacy in marriage.
It is only after recognizing these signs you can work on rebuilding intimacy in marriage.
Can a marriage survive without intimacy?
A lot of things need to be considered when it comes to this, and I cannot really give you a straightforward answer, but in general, you have to have at least physical or emotional intimacy in marriage, depending on the phase you are in. If you are a newlywed couple, you need to have both types of intimacies to make your wedding last. If some years have passed, you might have more emotional intimacy than physical, and that’s okay too.
Once you grow old, you might only have emotional intimacy, and that’s also fine, but if you don’t have any of these at any stage of your life, then, unfortunately, it might become challenging for your marriage to survive. So if that’s the case, I suggest you start reviving intimacy in marriage by reading the tips provided towards the end of this guide.
Reasons for no intimacy in marriage from husband:
- Stress: This one can play a major role in ruining your intimacy with your husband, especially sexual one. Women often believe that stress doesn’t really affect the sexual desire of men, but that is a wrong assumption. According to studies, stress has a link to a decrease in sex drive.
- Low Self-Esteem: No one is safe from the claws of this one, and both men and women can develop low self-esteem, especially regarding their physical appearance. So make sure to compliment your spouse’s physical features and let them know how beautiful or handsome they are.
- Rejection: If you have rejected the advances from your husband in the past, it might discourage him from being sexually intimate with you. No one wants to feel or think that their partner considers sex with them as a task.
5 Proven tips to bring intimacy back into a relationship:
Now that you know the signs of lack of intimacy, it is time that we tell you how to bring intimacy back into a marriage. So here are five practical tips to doing so:
- Have Same Sleeping Routing: You and your husband need to go to bed together because the bedroom is your most personal place where both of you are alone. If you are not getting any alone time with your partner, especially at night, it can disrupt your sex life. So change your schedule and start going to bed together.
- Recall the Memories: The sparks you felt at the start of your relationship might not be as strong now, but you should not let them vanish from your life forever. Recall the best times you spent together or take out your wedding photo albums and go through them at least a few times a year. Both you and your spouse should feel a surge of love for each other, remembering those good old times.
- Speak His Love Language: Sometimes, we treat our spouses the way we want them to treat us, and that is not fair to them. Women have different ways of receiving love, and men have different. So keep a close eye on how your spouse responds when you shower him with love to find out the right language to speak to them.
- Give Them Gifts: Another practical tip for reviving intimacy in marriage is to give your spouse gifts. These gifts can include an evening out for them while you watch kids or giving your husband his favorite PS5 or Xbox console. These things will let your partner know that you love them.
- Take Care of Yourself: You cannot be properly intimate with your partner if you are not loving yourself. You mostly be at your best when you are with your spouse. This means being happy for them, giving them a genuine love-filled smile, and making sincere efforts to rebuild intimacy in marriage; they will appreciate it very much.
Now that you know how to bring intimacy back into a marriage, you might be faced with an issue where your husband is just not romantic enough. If that’s the case, then check out the tips below.
How can I make my man be romantic?
- Take the Lead: If your man is not the romantic one, you should lead the way. Start with small things such as candlelight dinners with your favorite music, and a little bit of flirt always helps.
- Drop Hints: You can use upcoming events such as your anniversary or birthday to hint them about the special treatment they are going to receive. For instance, you can say that the gift you will give me for the anniversary will be well received.
- Dress up to Spice Up: Getting rid of the tracksuit and slipping into an attractive dress for your husband to recognize your beauty and understand what a catch you are will compel him towards you.
- Just Ask: This is the last resort, but it works. Just ask him about what you want and how you want an evening to be spent with him. He loves you so he won’t ignore it.
How do you know when your marriage is really over?
If you have tried your best to revive intimacy in marriage but nothing seems to work then you should look for these signs to know if it’s over:
- You both are nothing more than just roommates
- You no longer care about being close to each other or being intimate
- One of you wants children while the other one doesn’t
- They are a serial cheater and won’t stop doing it even after you have caught them
- He is not compromising on anything in your relationship and not caring for your needs
- Whenever you talk, most of it is based on arguments, or you have just stopped arguing which is also not good
- You can imagine being happy without him
Now that you know the signs of lack of intimacy and how to bring intimacy back into a marriage, you should start working on it right away.
There is no shame in going to extreme lengths and making some compromises for the sake of rebuilding intimacy in marriage; once your spouse recognizes your efforts, he will come running toward you.
Unless your marriage is really over and just the formality of divorce is remaining, I suggest that you never stop working on improving it.