Wondering is it normal to fight everyday in a relationship? Or maybe you are tired of fighting in a relationship and want to resolve your issues?
Well, the good thing is that we have answers to all of these things. This guide is created to help you get rid of constant arguing in a relationship and work on reconnecting after big fight.
So without wasting any time, let’s work on improving your bond with your partner and putting an end to constant bickering:
What does constant fighting in a relationship mean?
Constant arguing in a relationship is a habit that couples usually fall into where they bicker about even small issues such as not putting the towel in a drier after using it. However, if you are constantly fighting in a relationship, then this doesn’t mean that you have hit a dead end.
It mostly means that thoughtfulness and consideration have disappeared, resulting in you guys coming at each other on petty issues. We suggest that you should have a deep talk with each other and try to find out the root cause of this behavior.
Most of the time, it is something else that happened in the past, causing this tension between the couple. So talk to each other to resolve it or seek couple’s therapy if you cannot reach the root cause on your own.
Why do I pick fights with my boyfriend constantly?
If you have bad fights in relationships and if it’s mostly you initiating it with your boyfriend or husband, then there can be a few reasons for that given below:
- Sometimes you pick the fight with your boyfriend because you just want to see how far you can push him. Some women like to see how far their men will go for them. However, this can result in disappointments as well because you don’t know which state of mind he is in when you test him out.
- You might also be picking fights with your boyfriend because things happened in the past that has left some marks on your emotions. And now that you cannot bear the toxicity of it anymore, you start to explode in short bursts resulting in constant fights.
- You might also be going through a stressful time in your personal or career life resulting in you taking it all out on your poor boyfriend. The best approach to dealing with this is that you just talk to your man and let them know why you are behaving this way, if he loves you, he will understand.
Is it normal to fight Everyday in a relationship?
If you are wondering is it normal to fight everyday in a relationship, then know this, sometimes it is okay, and sometimes it can also lead to bigger problems. We suggest that when you say things to each other during the fight, you don’t take them to your heart or the following things can happen:
- When bad fights in relationships occur, people say things that they don’t mean, but if you take it to your heart, you may start to lose respect for your partner. So we suggest that you establish some boundaries to know when things start to go too far.
- Constant fighting can also take away happiness if you don’t communicate emotionally yet rationally after the fight. If you just fight and then pretend it never happened the next day, then there can be a cold distance between both of you that can kill your happiness and fun.
- Reconnecting after big fight is a good thing, but if it is a routine for both of you to bicker and fight, then, in the long run, you will grow frustrated with each other. This means you might start getting attracted to someone else who seems more understanding.
However, remember that grass is always greener on the other side, so instead of fighting with each other and then running towards someone else to talk about your problems, you should resolve these things on your own and minimize the fights.
How often do couples fight in a healthy relationship?
Fighting in a relationship on a frequent basis is pretty normal, but how often you should fight depends on the couple, so I cannot give you a straight answer to this. However, the important thing is not when you argue, but how you behave when an argument takes place. If you avoid the following behaviors, you should be okay:
- Stonewalling: Completely tuning your partner out and shutting down the argument
- Defensiveness: Thinking only your partner is at fault and you are right and not taking any responsibility
- Contempt: Assuming that you are superior to your partner and not giving him equal respect
- Criticism: Attacking your partner on a personal level rather than focusing on the concern
As long as you avoid these behavior types, you should be okay even if you fight frequently. Just discuss your arguments with respect and thoughtfulness.
How to stop fighting in the early stages of a Relationship?
- Try not to be defensive and pin everything on your partner. Listen to what he is saying and respond thoughtfully and accept your faults.
- If things start to heat up, just step away, go out, take a walk, and when you cool down, come back and work on reconnecting after big fight.
- Whenever you argue, do it face to face. Don’t use text or call as you both cannot see each other’s expressions, and that can beget misunderstandings, further fuelling the fight.
- Start working on resolving the conflict as soon as you can because taking too long to solve your issues means you both will get time to develop resentment for each other, which only weakens the bond.
What to do when couples argue constantly?
There are a few things that both of you can do if you face constant arguing in a relationship. Have a look at them below:
- Talk positively: Don’t go into the fight with all guns firing. Instead of using sarcasm, taunting, or critical commenting, try to talk positively and respectfully. Try this when you argue next time.
- Take the ‘I’ Approach: Don’t play the blame game by using statements that begin with ‘You.’ This will make your partner feel he is being attacked. For instance, instead of saying ‘you are not listening to me,’ try saying, ‘I feel like I am not being listened when I discuss something with you.’
- Step in His Shoes: It is so easy to play the victim and completely ignore the perspective of the other person. But the healthy approach to take is to understand where they are coming from, and you might see where you are wrong and work on it.
What to do after a fight with your boyfriend?
- Before you resolve the fight, it is important that you first cheer yourself up. So go for a walk, watch your favorite show or just eat your favorite food.
- Try making up with him as soon as you can so that you both don’t have negative emotions for long
- Try sending him a sweet and apologetic text following the format we have discussed towards the end of this article
- Acknowledge their side as well and tell them that you understand their point as well
- Work towards resolving the issue together through a calm and productive talk
Why does Every time we fight, I want to break up?
Fighting in a relationship is mostly normal, but if you are having thoughts of leaving your boyfriend or husband, then it can take your relationship down the hill. So if you are having these thoughts, then there is something at the back of your mind that you have not resolved. Something that your boyfriend said in the past and is repeating it whenever you fight.
Or it can be something that he does which you don’t like. Whatever it is, you are now unable to take it anymore, which is why you are having these thoughts to find an escape. The solution is to just tell him these things that are making you have these thoughts or seek couples therapy to find it out.
What to write in a text that you send your boyfriend after a fight?
If you have had one of those bad fights in relationships where you and your partner are mad at each other, then we suggest that you take a few hours to vent out the negativity. And then start reconnecting after big fight starting from a text. Make sure to have these things in the text:
- Try to be humble because arrogance will only make things worse
- You have hurt your partner so make sure to tell him you acknowledge his feelings
- Lastly, make concrete promises of not repeating this behavior in the future
Including these factors in your text should resolve things quickly.
You now know the answer to ‘is it normal to fight every day in a relationship’ and you also know that you can resolve even the bad fights in relationships if you approach them calmly, and understand another person’s point of view as well.
We believe that ending the relationship is only a temporary escape unless you are certain that it can’t be fixed. Because these fights will occur with the next person as well, so where will it end?
Therefore, we suggest that you work on reconnecting after big fight and avoid stepping out of moral and personal boundaries the next time you have an argument.