Why does My Husband Defends His Mother Over Me? (Solved)

My husband defends his mother over me, a thought that goes through the mind of every married woman at some point. You might be right, or it might be just you being a little too sensitive. Whatever the case is, this guide has got you covered.

Together, we will learn how to deal with mother-in-law problems in a positive way and understand what the narcissistic, jealous mother in law signs are so you can recognize if she is being one. So with that said, let’s get started:

What if your husband attached to his mother? – How to win your husband from his mother?

If you are wondering why my husband defends his mother over me, then one reason can be because he is simply a mama’s boy. But whatever the case is, here are a few things you can do to win him from her:

  • Establish Boundaries: You need to let your man know that no matter how he behaves with his mother when he needs something, you are his wife, so that kind of behavior won’t work with you. He needs to act like the man of the house when he is with you. He might try to manipulate you to get his way, but you need to stay strong.
  • Live Separately: If he is a complete mama’s boy, then it might not be a good idea to live in her house. This is because of their relationship as a son and mother might make you feel isolated. He might defend her more on every subject just to make her happy.
  • Don’t Confront: Your mother-in-law is still his mother, which means it is natural for him to be more emotionally attached to her. So instead of confronting your mother-in-law and telling her to back off, you need to learn how to deal with her indirectly. And that is by talking to your husband, not to her. Be sensitive and tell your husband how you feel and that you would like to spend more alone time with him.

Why does my husband give more importance to his mother than me?

Reasons My Husband Defends His Mother over me

One of the mother-in-law problems married girls usually have is that their husbands give their mothers more importance than their wives. Well, you first need to understand that it is okay if it’s not on an extreme level because men are more attached to their mothers than women.

We suggest that you don’t make it a competition because he has a separate place for you in his heart and he cannot love you the way he loves his mother and similarly his mother the way he loves you.

We suggest that you win over his heart by loving who he loves the most; his mother. This way, not only will you achieve a better place in his heart, but your mother-in-law will start liking you or maybe loving you more.

language of desire

Why mother-in-law acts like she is married to my husband?

If you are seeing the jealous mother-in-law signs then it might be because she is being overly protective of his child and being her boy, he is behaving in the same way. However, you should understand that not all mothers-in-law are jealous or manipulative,

Maybe beneath that jealous, overprotective, and narcissistic mother-in-law, there is a woman who loves her child unconditionally, and that is why she loves you too – she just doesn’t know how to show it.

So instead of confronting her, we suggest that you start spending time with her to get to know her better. Listen to her and what she likes and dislikes, invite her to do things with you, and maybe you both get to know each other better, and instead of decreasing her love for her son, she might start loving you more than before.

What to do when My husband tells his mother everything?

Maybe you are not here for the problem ‘why my husband defends his mother over me,’ maybe you want to solve another issue: your man telling his mother every nitty-gritty detail of your personal life.

In this case, we suggest just talking to him and telling him how you feel.

The second approach is to turn the tables. You can use this behavior of your husband to get in the good books of your mother-in-law.

Talk to your husband about how you appreciate certain qualities of your mother-in-law like her cooking, or how good she has raised her son or her taste in dressing, etc.

Since everything reaches her, this will too. Now there is also a chance that your husband talks to you about his parents like he does with them, if this happens, be a good listener and encourage him. Tables can turn soon if you be patient and consistent.

5 Reasons My Husband Defends His Mother over me:

  1. If you worry that my husband defends his mother over me, then the first reason for this is because it’s his mother! Men don’t easily just stop caring for their mothers.
  2. You need to understand that he has spent more time with her than with you, you guys might be together for a few years, but his mother has been taking care of him for decades. Of course, he will be more protective of her.
  3. Since his mother has been taking care of him for so long, it is natural that he loves her more than you, and that’s okay; give your relationship some time; he will start loving you more and more.
  4. Maybe you have a possessive and narcissistic mother-in-law who controls her son. If that’s the case, he defends her out of fear and not love.
  5. It is also possible that she is manipulative, she might get him to think that everything is your fault, but that doesn’t happen all the time, don’t think your mother-in-law is like this unless you have solid evidence.

How to talk to your husband about his mother?

  • Share Your Feelings: The first thing to do is to just tell him about your discomfort. Don’t blame anyone and just make him understand how his mom’s behavior is causing problems with your relationship. The chances are that your hubby does not realize the problem, so help understand but be positive while doing so.
  • Stay Calm: Whenever you face mother-in-law problems and discuss them with your husband, be as calm as you can; otherwise, he might think you are just being emotional. Don’t react to her remarks, or you might end up being the mad one.
  • Draw the Line: If your husband is not listening to you, no matter how hard you try, then just pack your bags and leave. If he truly loves you, he will come running, and this time, he will pay attention to what you have to say.

3 signs your mother in law is manipulative:

  1. The first sign of a manipulative, jealous mother-in-law is her emotional insecurity. She will think of you as her competitor, won’t let go of her control over him, and might want to control you too.
  2. The second sign can be LIES! She will lie to your husband about you and twist the things you say in his absence into something negative.
  3. She will make comments about you that might seem innocent on the surface but are filled with venom.

How to make your husband want you all the time in 5 Proven Tips

How to Deal with an emotionally manipulative mother-in-law?

The first thing you can do is to try to be on her good side. Try to understand her, see what makes her behavior change towards you, reassure her that you will take care of her son, and make her a part of your life by communicating with her frequently and going out with her. She will surely appreciate this.

Secondly, when you start to develop a liking for each other, start asking for her advice and making decisions accordingly, this will make her feel important. Also, make sure to appreciate her for her efforts in bonding with you, and celebrate the special days of her life to make her feel valued.

But if none of the above work, ask yourself if you are doing something causing her to react badly, if that’s the case, fix yourself. But if nothing works, then you just need to give her the silent treatment by not getting affected by what she does, and if she sees this, she might start to change herself.

Why my husband lets his mother disrespect me?

We suggest you first look at what she is saying and understand her point of view; maybe she is pointing something out wrong, but her direct approach makes you think she is being hostile.

You also need to understand that she might have physical or mental health problems and you not being sensitive towards them, creating this window of disrespect between you both.

We just suggest that instead of blaming her, you should listen to her, understand her and instead of waiting for your husband to do something, try to fix things on your own


Now you know the answer to your question, ‘why my husband defends his mother over me’ so you can just start working on fixing this problem. Also, no matter how she treats you. if you know how to deal with mother in law problems in a respectful way, there is a good chance your husband will appreciate you for this and start to see where his mother is wrong. Just don’t lose hope and keep working on your relationship with her; good days will surely come.

3 thoughts on “Why does My Husband Defends His Mother Over Me? (Solved)”

  1. This article makes it easy to deal with the in-law when in reality, it is far from the truth. My mother-in-law made a damage control in my relationship. Irreparable damage, to the point that I don’t want to see her ever. My husband’s reaction is to keep telling me how bad her mother had it, that she was a spoiled child, blah, blah, blah. He never pays attention to how I feel due to her rudeness and nonsense behavior. This is a serious problem we are having at home. Therapy is not helping.


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