Your friends are in happy relationships. Even the girl you never thought could bag a man is walking down the aisle in a few months. It seems that you can’t attract a man, and those that want you, well, you’re not interested.
These and many other reasons can be utterly frustrating for the woman how is ready to have a man to call their own. If you’re in that space, you don’t need to despair.
There are proven ways in which you can attract a man that you like, whether or not you think he is out of your league. Here, we are not going to tell you to transform yourself into another person entirely so that you can be with him.
Apply what you take away from here in your unique way so that it’s as authentic as possible.
You also don’t want to come across as a fake; you want him to fall for the real you. Let’s look at how to attract a man you like and in the simplest of ways. They are in no particular order of importance.
How to attract a man you like
1. Show interest
How will he know you like him if you don’t show him?! The simplest way to let him know is paying attention. When you’re with him, giving your full focus. Don’t let your eyes wander looking for the next catch, and don’t be on your phone. Be present in the moment and attentive.
Some things you can also incorporate to enhance the experience for him by asking questions and using small touches to show him that you’re keen on what he has to say.
When he notices this, like a peacock, he’ll be sure to bring his best foot forward.
The other aspect of being present is that you can notice a lot of things. Body language and non-verbal communication are vital as you get to learn more about someone that way.
When you learn his mannerisms, you can react accordingly. When he feels that you understand him, his interest in you will peek as he knows he’s found his tribe or his person.
Want to make yourself attractive in a split second? Then smile! To attract him further, smile when you’re talking; that way, you come across as gentle, kind, and positive. It also communicates to him that you’re happy and at ease with him and that you are indeed having a good time.
Even when it’s his turn to talk, have a small smile to show him that you’re interested in what he has to say. If you’re not used to smiling a lot, make a mental reminder to do so. As they say, practice will make perfect.
Of course, you shouldn’t be weird about it too. You ought to smile where appropriate and if the context warrants it. You don’t also want to look like a creep.
This point is particularly crucial for those who have a resting, angry face as it tends to be intimidating. When you’re in a space together, actively soften your features by relaxing for facial muscles.
After he sees you’re not all that serious, he’ll have more courage to approach you.
4. Cultivate feminine energy
Despite so many positive steps made for women’s rights today, the reality is that we still live in a man’s world. That has led to some women forgetting who they intrinsically are and try to fit into the male world.
They do things to prove to men that they are powerful, and “they’ve got this.” The man you’re trying to attract doesn’t want another man in the relationship, they are looking for a woman, and that’s where feminine energy comes in.
There is a power that lies in our feminine energy, and it is taking pride in the feminine. It is not about doing things to be more feminine; it is a state of being. Embrace it and watch the shift that will take place.
One step that you can make is appreciating the feminine qualities that you have, play off the strengths, and let him play his role as the man. Sure, gender roles have changed, but there are characterizes that are purely male and female. Be the yin to his yang and allow there to be a beautiful balance.
5. Your brain
Smart men tend to be attracted to women who are just as bright. They want someone they can carry a conversation with, and if you’re not knowledgeable, then that will be difficult for you.
Also, if you’re brilliant in what you do and several other things, then you’re more than confident about what you’re bringing to the table, and that will show. You don’t have to be good at everything; be good at your interests and other general knowledge, and you’re set when it comes to attracting a man you like.
A disclaimer, though: don’t change yourself to suit a man or dumb yourself down. You also don’t have to run your intelligence in their face. There is indeed a beauty that comes with being humble about how smart you are.
You don’t want to scare him off, but also don’t give up part of yourself. Find a balance where he will appreciate your input and not feel intimidated.
6. Have a high sense of self-worth
Throwing yourself at him, letting him treat you anyhow, and losing yourself is not how you attract a man you like. If anything, it signals to him that you aren’t worth much and should be discarded. Not valuing yourself is unattractive to a man who wants more out of a woman.
It is about knowing your worth and what you bring to the table that matters most. When you do, you won’t settle for any man, even the one you like. It might pinch a bit, but you know better and won’t settle.
When you know you’re a catch and realize you’re worth the wait, then getting the man you want becomes more effortless. Equally, the men you end up liking and even attracting will be of a higher caliber, and you’ll be matched.
If you feel that your self-esteem needs a boost, consider working on yourself first before venturing out to get a mate. Sure, it means that you’re out of the playing field for a bit longer, but the benefits you rip will be worthwhile.
7. Be confident
When you aren’t comfortable in your own skin, it shows. It communicates to him that you’re unsure about yourself, and he won’t know where to stand with that. You have to love yourself first before he and everyone around you, for that matter, can do the same. This is not a change that you make merely to get him thinking about you.
You can use the experience of liking someone also to learn one or two things about yourself.
Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be confident and at peace within yourself, knowing that there’s nothing wrong with you. When someone comes along, they will fit the person you’ve become, and the process of attracting them will feel more natural as you’ve put down your pretenses.
8. Being forever young
Maintaining an appetite and a wonder for life makes you spontaneous and exciting. You’ll always be down to explore new things, and not stop growing.
With age, women think that they have to be and act a certain way when that’s not the case.
Whether it’s dressing or even your hobbies, don’t lose the element of youthfulness. It doesn’t mean that you regress, it means that you enjoy life in a way that’s authentic to you.
A man will like a woman who is still open to the wonders of life.
If you’re not sure about where to start, tap into your inner child. As we grow, we don’t lose that part of ourselves. What happens is that we repress it primarily because society tells us to.
You can begin to tap into that side of you by going back to the things that you loved doing as a child. Asking yourself questions like, “what would a young, energetic version of myself do at this moment?”
Once you have the answer, call up the guy you want and head off to your newfound adventure.
9. Practice kindness
If you’re always going off at the waiter or other people and things, then he probably won’t want to be with you. Kindness is one trait that you’ll have to cultivate, not just for him but for yourself.
It is an attractive trait for anyone to have, and it signals to him that your relationship is likely going to fill with mutual respect and doing nice things to each other.
Kindness is also linked to being an all-rounded person when it comes to other relationships, including social ones and raising children. If you’re not looking to marry him or get kids, things like genuine interest and going out of your way for him (within reason) go a long way.
Something to also keep in mind is when you’re practicing kindness, don’t expect anything in return.
When you have expectations, you won’t be doing things out of the goodness of your heart, and it also sets you up for disappointment if you don’t get the same treatment in return.
10. Be honest
Honesty is sexy, and any man would appreciate that. However, it doesn’t mean that you should come out with guns blazing with it. Honesty has an element of love attached to it; when you love someone, you won’t use your honesty to bring them down or hurt them.
You also want to find the appropriate time and words to let him know something that, for example, is bothering you or you don’t like. That said, building a relationship based on lies is not worthwhile, primarily because the truth has a way of coming out.
If there are parts of yourself or life that you’re tempted to cover up, pretend or lie about, then be sure that even if you manage to get his interest, he won’t be around for long. Sometimes being truthful is all that matters, and you’ll get someone who can handle your truth.
11. Be positive
No one likes a wet blanket. Men tend to be attracted to positive and cheerful women in their outlook about life. That means that you shouldn’t bring up your ex and bash him when on a date; it won’t do you any favors.
Also, avoid saying negative things even when they come to mind. Life is already hard, and he doesn’t need to be reminded of the same all the time. Also, if he’s the negative one, don’t join him or indulge him.
Instead, change the topic.
There is also a balance to being positive. Things will genuinely not always go right, so leave room for yourself and him to share disappointments, hurts, and failures.
From there, you can choose to be uplifting in your words and actions. Therefore, you’re not covering up the hard parts of life, but you’re working towards finding a silver lining. In essence, with this approach, you’re balanced.
12. Ask for his help
If you give men the opportunity, they will most certainly rise to the occasion. As you’re getting to know each other, do ask for his help in a few things such as advice or running a small errand where he feels needed.
Even though you know how to do it, if you notice he’s geeky about anything internet, ask him to teach or help you with something. Don’t always reach for Google, run something by him, and see what he comes up with.
Even when he doesn’t have an answer, he’ll go figure it out and get back to you. Once he does, be sure to praise him. You want him to feel like the smartest person in the room.
On a general level, if you’re the kind who’s used to doing everything by and for yourself, then you will initially have a hard time letting him take the lead in some things.
You won’t be the damsel in distress if you allow him to hold the door for you or carry the shopping bags for you. Look for small things that you can let go of that won’t make you feel that you’re giving up your essence.
13. Take an interest in his interest
You might golf as dull as ever, but you can read up a few things about it and at least have the basics. It doesn’t mean that you have to take it up as your hobby, but at least show some interest.
He will appreciate that you’ve made an effort to learn more about him and what he loves. In return, he will feel equally inclined to want to know more about you. Overall, he will look at you differently as someone he can potentially have a good time with.
Where you can, join him in playing or watching a sport he likes. Sure, you don’t have to do it all the time, but even the effort, once in a while, will be appreciated.
You can also choose to be thoughtful in the gift, articles, and the like that you send him to show that you’re thinking about him. You can also learn a thing or two in the process and use it in your life.
There is much to benefit from if you’re self-awareness is great while on the journey to getting a man to like you.
14. Be yourself
Here have talked about quite a few things that you can do to attract a man you like. However, these don’t work if you’re working to transform yourself into a picture-perfect woman for him.
The tips we’ve talked about there have to do with enhancing yourself as a person whether or not the man you currently like doesn’t end up being attracted to you; another one eventually will.
Therefore, take all these and find what applies to you and make it personal. Sure, not everything will use, and this is by no means exhaustive but it’s a good place to start. Do what makes you a wholesome person and be someone that you will like.
Wrap up – how to attract a man you like
Attracting a man that you like might feel like rocket science, and it can be because there is a lot that we perhaps don’t know about men. Even then, it is worthwhile applying some of these ideas even if you’re not looking for a happy ever after. Once you get the man that you want, don’t stop doing these things because he will indeed feel defrauded and he might leave after all your hard work.