What to expect in your first year of marriage? Most of us are told to expect certain things when we get married. But what if we don’t experience those things? What do you do then?
The problem with most relationship advice is that it’s vague and general, like “you’ll be challenged” or “it’s worth the effort”.
This post gives you specific steps for improving your marriage in each stage of the first year. It includes a step-by-step plan for helping your partner feel loved and appreciated.
You’ll learn how to avoid common pitfalls such as money problems, lack of communication, and other issues. If you’re struggling in any area of your marriage, this book can help you improve quickly!
Is the first year of marriage the hardest?
Most couples believe their first year of marriage is the hardest because it’s also the first time they’ve lived together. They’re adjusting to living with someone else, changes in family relationships, financial changes, and many other stressors that weren’t present before. It can be a tough transition.
But if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re going through a tough time in your marriage right now.
That’s why I wrote this article – to help couples learn from my mistakes and avoid the biggest problems that most couples face in their first year of marriage.
If you follow the advice in this article, you’ll reduce your stress and change the way your partner thinks about marriage.
Why the first year of marriage is important?
Your first year of marriage is a crucial time because it establishes patterns for the rest of your relationship. The first-year marriage can be an opportunity for self-discovery. Working together as partners, spouses learn how they handle money (or don’t), what their parenting style is like–and so much more!
But it only lasts 12 months; be sure not to let this moment slip by without exploring each other’s differences and finding out who’ll fit best into life.
Here are 8 surprising things nobody tells you about your first year of marriage. (Step-by-step) plan
1) Your friends will come to depend on you for relationship advice
Your single friends may come to view you as an expert in relationships. They may keep asking for your opinion about how they should act in various situations.
That’s not a bad thing – it’s fun to help people! But don’t let them depend on you too much, because you have enough going on as a newlywed!
2) You’ll be pushed outside of your comfort zone more than you’d expect
When we were single, our lives seemed more independent from each other. But once we got married, we had to learn how to work as a team and communicate about things that weren’t working quite right.
The first year of marriage is the time where you build your foundation together. You’ll be forced to face problems that you never even thought about before.
In the first few months of our marriage, we had to learn how to share space and resources. We also had to work together as a team if we wanted to accomplish anything.
3) It’s okay not to know what you’re doing at first
The biggest mistake I made in our first year of marriage was pretending I knew what was going on. I’m a natural introvert and a deep thinker, so the entire experience of getting married felt strange to me.
But I was afraid to show it. If I had admitted that anything about marriage confused me, my wife would have seen me as weak and incompetent. That’s why I never told her when something wasn’t working right until it was too late.
I tried to figure out the answers on my own, but that only made things worse. If she wanted my opinion about anything, I gave her my advice whether or not I knew what I was talking about. That’s why we ended up in the middle of a fight about money almost every day for months.
I wish I had been more transparent and vulnerable during our first few weeks together. I would have saved us both a lot of heartache and frustration if I had just admitted when I didn’t know what to do.
You won’t fail your partner if you admit when you don’t know what’s going on.
4) You’ll focus more of your energy on each other than anyone else
Since our family and friends weren’t close by, they never got the chance to see what we struggled with or how hard we were working at making things work out. When you get married and “lock yourself away,” it’s easy for your friends and family to misinterpret the situation. They may think everything is perfect when, in reality, you’re dealing with stress and issues that nobody else knows about.
5) Money problems will take over your life
Money problems started out being a minor problem, but they quickly grew into our biggest source of stress. If you have the same money habits that you had before you got married, it won’t work out well.
For example, I always spent whatever money I had at the end of the month without thinking about how little was leftover. I never thought about the future because my life didn’t feel permanent. I always figured that I would have time to deal with whatever problems came along.
But when you get married, your partner’s financial history becomes intertwined with yours. You’ll be forced to think more long-term and build a better plan for your money.
6) It won’t be what you expected, no matter how much planning you do
I thought that getting married would transform my relationship with my wife. I thought we’d feel like a different and better version of ourselves. But after we got married, everything was exactly the same as it was before… only worse.
We were more tired, and we argued about the same things, but differently, it turns out that all of our relationship problems got amplified by getting married. None of the issues we fought about before went away when we became officially “one.”
Marriage won’t solve any of your problems; it’ll just make them harder to deal with.
The things you’re fighting about right now will still be there after your wedding day, no matter how much planning you do beforehand. They’ll either be waiting for you or they’ll show up along the way.
That getting married would fix our problems was a myth, and it’s one reason a lot of marriages don’t work out.
7) You’ll have a harder time dealing with the challenges that come your way
No matter what happens after your wedding day, you’re going to have a much more difficult time dealing with it together. You may not be able to reach each other as easily as you could before.
You probably won’t have as much of an emotional connection with each other. You’ll be less able to relate to your partner when you go through the same challenges.
That’s because being married changes how you see your significant other, which changes how they see themselves. Some people aren’t ready for that shift in perspective, so they bail on the relationship.
Try not to think of getting married as the end of your relationship; instead, think of it as a new beginning that will help you grow together. And whenever you do get into a fight after your wedding day, remember that it’s all part of the same journey.
8) You don’t have to get married if you don’t want to
It’s never too late to back out of an engagement. In fact, it may be the best option for both parties involved. But as long as you’re engaged, stay engaged.
You might not think so now, but there are perks to being engaged. You get to enjoy the benefits of being married without any of the negative stuff.
And more importantly, you still get the choice to get married whenever you want. So if getting married isn’t for you right now or ever, then don’t do it!
How to get through the first year of marriage?
The first year of marriage can be difficult for both partners when they are trying to adjust to the changes in their relationship, especially when it comes to merging finances and sharing responsibilities.
Some experts say that marrying someone is much harder than staying married to them, so learning how to navigate through the challenges of this period will help you stay in a healthy relationship as you progress. Here is how you can make it work:
- Talk about your expectations and fears before you get married, talk to your partner about what you expect from them and try to be as open as possible about all your concerns and fears regarding the future of your relationship. This will help both of you know what’s important for each other and how committed.
- Talking about money is an enormous challenge for long-term couples because it can bring up all kinds of emotions. It’s common to feel scared, overwhelmed, and even resentful toward your spouse after merging finances with them. So before going into marriage being financially interdependent, think about what level of shared responsibility you’re comfortable with.
What should you not do in your first year of marriage? (Avoid common pitfalls)
1) Don’t ignore red flags
Just because you’re getting married to someone doesn’t mean that they’ll change their negative behavior. It’s important, to be honest about who a person is before committing to a lifetime with them, so if there are warning signs, don’t ignore them.
2) Avoid criticizing your partner
If you find yourself criticizing who your partner is as a person, it’s going to be difficult for them to feel happy and emotionally satisfied in the marriage.
And even though it may seem good at first, you will likely experience more resentment and anger toward each other if this behavior continues.
3) Don’t take each other for granted
When a relationship is new and exciting, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and overlook how special your partner really is. In fact, you might even do thoughtful things for each other that you normally wouldn’t because you feel you’re never going to see them again!
But the honeymoon period eventually ends, and if you’re not careful, you can start to take your partner for granted.
Over time, this could lead to a decrease in affection or even resentment toward one another. So remember how lucky you are to have the person who you love by your side.
4) Don’t expect a fairy tale ending
Married life is not a fairy tale. There are no princes or princesses, and they’re definitely aren’t any fairytale endings.
It’s true that every marriage is different, but if you go into it expecting your happily ever after, it might disappoint you when the reality of married life isn’t all that you’d hoped for.
What is the hardest part of a marriage?
The hardest part of a marriage is the ability to live with your partner’s imperfections. Marriage is not just a piece of paper; it’s a commitment that you’re making to this person forever.
It’s about learning to love unconditionally and support each other in good times and in bad, not just when you’re doing everything right.
And that’s why the first year of marriage is such an enormous challenge. It’s the time when you’re most likely to make a lot of mistakes and cause each other pain.
And instead of trying to make this time shorter, try working on yourself and improving your behavior. Learn how to communicate better and discover what makes each other happy.
In the end, there’s no perfect way to be a good spouse. But as long as you keep putting in the effort, your marriage will be worth all the challenges that come with it.
How many marriages fail in the first year? (First year of marriage divorce rates)
The odds of a successful marriage are much higher between the ages of 20 and 45 than they were ten or fifteen years ago. The divorce rate has increased by 12% in just five short years, but only 8 percent after you reach your mid-twenties.
This is because studies have shown that people who got married in their younger years without thinking too much about it are more likely to get divorced than people who wait until they are older to get married.
One thing’s for sure: you can’t expect your marriage to be perfect right from the start. The first year of marriage is a time for you and your spouse to learn more about each other and yourself as well, so there will be some bumps in the road.
Which year of marriage is the most difficult?
You know when you are in love with your partner, and it just feels right? It’s like they’re part of the natural order. But what if one day suddenly feelings changed?!
The seven-year itch is a really common fear for otherwise happy couples approaching marriage or deep into their first years together– but that doesn’t have to be true anymore!
What is the #1 reason for divorce in America?
Cheating is the most common reason cited for divorce. We consider it being adultery when a spouse has a relationship outside the marriage. Being committed to one another is what they built a marriage on, so it is only natural that infidelity defies the very definition of matrimony.
Why do marriages fail in the first year? (First-year of marriage problems)
The first year of marriage is definitely an intense time. It’s the honeymoon period, when you’re newlyweds and everything you do together is an adventure. It’s such a fun and exciting time, so you can’t really blame your partner for not helping out more around the house.
Here are the First-year of marriage problems:
-Lack of time: It’s natural for newlyweds to enjoy their first year together and be on vacation mode. When the honeymoon phase is over, you’ll have to go back to reality and find time for your spouse.
-Lack of communication: Because two people live together under one roof during the first year of marriage, they will grow apart or suffer from a lack of communication.
-Lack of trust: The first year of marriage is a time for you and your partner to learn more about each other and discover what makes each other happy. It requires trust and understanding.
-Lack of compatibility: You may discover that you’re not compatible with your partner at all. By just looking at the qualities you liked about each other, you might not feel the same way anymore.
-Financial problems: You and your spouse should discuss how to manage your money together, but if you don’t want to be in debt for the rest of your life.
-Lack of commitment: Your spouse might not have wanted to get married at all, so you will both be working on making the marriage work.
-Lack of passion: The fire and passion may diminish over time.
-Lack of attraction: You might take your partner for granted and stop noticing what you loved about them in the first place.
-Infidelity: Cheating is considered to be adultery and can lead to a divorce.
-Lack of family support: Your family might not support your decision to get married, so you have to work on building a strong relationship with them.
How to be prepared for the first wedding night?
The first wedding night is the way many people see it as an important part of your relationship. It has a big influence on how you start off your life as a married couple.
Getting ready for your first wedding night is perhaps the most memorable moment of the entire wedding process. However, it can be really nerve-wracking if you’re not prepared.
- Discuss the matter with your partner before the wedding.
- Make sure you have clean sheets, candles, flowers, and music.
- Interior design is also important, so you need to match the style of your house with your bedroom.
- Spend some time together at the location before the wedding.
- Let your hair down and finally, enjoy being together.
- Don’t forget to make it memorable.
- Enjoy your first night together!
Commonly Asked Questions about the first year of marriage (FAQ)
Is it normal to fight in your first year of marriage?
The psychologists say that the top reason for newlywed couples to argue is because they feel their partner pays them inadequate attention or affection. They also lost money, or lack thereof, control over one’s life outside of marriage- these come in second place as points fueling conflict between partners who are married with kids from previous relationships. Jealousy and housework make up other potential sources where rancorous disputes can arise among those who live together already!
What year of marriage is divorce most common?
Divorce is a tough, emotional time for everyone involved. The data shows that the average person experiences two periods during marriage when divorces are most likely to happen: years 1 – 2 and 5-8 which account together, make up over half (55%) of all divorce filings! There’s no one answer on why this happens but some theories include financial difficulties or infidelity around year 7 followed by an increase in disagreement between spouses at 8th month due primarily from fights over custody agreements where both sides want what they think will be best while getting along as well possible if not.
How many marriages fail in the first year?
Divorce is not a simple decision to make. It often happens after the first five years of marriage, and one study found that for every year before then there’s a 12% chance your spouse will leave you within those initial stages (between 10-15). The good news Between 15+yr periods in marriages where both spouses stay together less than ten more years sees only about 8% increase in chances of divorce!
Are second marriages happier?
Many couples are eager to make their second marriage work out, but it seems like the odds might not be in your favor. With divorce rates close to 60-67% for people who have been married two or more times and less than 45%, respectively, with first marriages, you’re guaranteed an unhappy ending if things don’t go well from early on!
How long does the average 2nd marriage last?
The average time that it takes someone to get married after a separation is 3.7 years, which has been honestly stable since 1950 and can be attributed in part because there’s so much stigma against divorces back then as opposed to now when most people just go through with the legal process like they should have done if things had gone south beforehand instead of waiting for something bad happen later down along life’s spiral into sadness – but even though more couples avoid these mistakes than ever before; sadly second marriages ending up short by an average length of nearly 8
What year is the hardest in a relationship?
The first year of any relationship is a really tough time, and even when you’ve been living together for a while now, it never gets easier. How do people go through this stage? Be willing to accept all the little things your partner does which may not seem perfect at first glance – I think that makes them human after all!
Is the first year of marriage the worst?
It’s true that the first year of marriage is usually a tough one, even if you’ve been together for years. And according to relationship therapists this may be due largely because it can feel so unfamiliar and new-the same way our relationships did when we were single -which means there will probably still be plenty left up in the air after just twelve months!
Why do most marriages fail?
Refer to relationship therapists; the first year really can be difficult, even if you’ve already lived together. In fact, this rarely matters how long your marriage has been going on for the start of married life will always present new challenges and obstacles!
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that has many ups and downs. It’s easy to overlook the realities of marriage, but it does not have to be difficult. By remembering these 8 things nobody tells you about your first year of wedlock, you can better prepare for what lies ahead in your life with your spouse. Start by understanding how people react when they become engaged; plan for all stages of marriage; know the most common challenges couples face during their first year together; learn how to deal with money issues as newlyweds; plan out-of-town trips before making any plans; consider prenups if you feel like finances could lead to conflict between spouses down the line; keep an open mind throughout this process—you