Relationships demand a lot of commitment, but are you supposed to compromise everything? Here you will figure out how to deal with relationship non negotiables and how to avoid them.
When you get into a relationship, not everything should be open to being explored. Some things may not be open to discussion or to be compromised.
And you should figure out what those things are before you get into a relationship. When we do not set those things, chances are those will be the reasons that bring conflict later on or even a breakup. If you don’t know what relationship non negotiables.
You are in the right place because here, we will explore what non-negotiables are and how you can figure out what yours are.
How can you figure out what your non-negotiables in a relationship?
Many of us don’t set any boundaries when we start a relationship with someone we love, but figuring out the non-negotiable qualities in a man or a woman before you allow yourself to dive in too deeply into a relationship, can ensure that the relationship lasts longer.
“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” – Anonymous
What are your non-negotiables?
Non-negotiables are not the traits you look for in a partner. We often envision things that we seek in a romantic partnership, but more often than not, we are willing to work on those, even compromise.
Non-negotiables are the things that you are not willing to compromise on. For example, those tend to be a more complex subject, such as having kids.
However, we do not usually think about non-negotiables until we go through something major. This is actually not unusual, and you can always change your mind along the way.
Even though non-negotiables are not up to compromise, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t change your mind along the way.
When you set non-negotiables, you aren’t stopping things from happening or changing forever. You are taking control of what makes you comfortable and happy.
You should not feel guilty about having this conversation with the person you share a relationship with. On the contrary, being open about it will allow you to build a solid relationship to overcome any issues.
Figuring out your non-negotiables in a relationship
Setting non-negotiables doesn’t have to be done before you start a relationship. It can be done at any time. It’s completely okay to figure out non-negotiables in a marriage.
Many people say that you have to put your partner first, but is that really true? How can you love someone fully if your happiness is being compromised?
You need to ask yourself what types of things you are okay to compromise on for the one you love.
And if there is anything that you don’t seem to be comfortable doing, you should not be willing to compromise.
You are important too. If the person you are in a relationship with takes your happiness seriously, they will understand.
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5 non-negotiables for a successful relationship (examples of non-negotiables in a relationship)
Many things can fall into your non-negotiable needs to have a happy and successful relationship. Here are five non-negotiables in a relationship examples that can make a long-lasting relationship even happier:
1. Respect
Respect is important in any relationship, but even more crucial when you are planning to possibly spend the rest of your life with that person.
Lack of respect will not only demolish every shred of self-respect within you but can also cause permanent damage to you.
Many people who’ve had previous troubled relationships that lacked respect end up with scars that may cause further damage along the way and in new relationships.
If the person you are in a relationship with treats you less than you deserve, they may not be right for you because respect is something that you need and should stand up for, as respect is a major non-negotiable example that should be applied to every relationship.
2. Commitment
A relationship without commitment is a relationship with counted days to be over. It is impossible to build a trusting and long-lasting relationship without full commitment from both parties.
Commitment is a way to ensure that you are both on the same page and it provides the reassurance that you need to establish a stable relationship for both of you.
Commitment is, without a doubt, a non-negotiable quality in a man and woman that will only help to make their relationship stronger.
3. Family
Before you commit to someone, you should figure out if building a family in the future is something you would consider.
Even though bringing up kids in the early stages of any relationship can be a very premature conversation, it’s also one that you should have at some point.
Not having kids definitely falls into a non-negotiable category. And if the person you are in a relationship with wants to have kids in the future, this can be a reason to break up.
Making sure that the possibility of having a family together should definitely be a part of your non-negotiable list.
4. Finances
This can be a big non-negotiable in marriage, as it will affect you both directly. It’s also a discussion that many couples avoid having because it can be uncomfortable and create a bad environment. Still, if you don’t discuss it, it may be too late to figure out along the road.
Remember that money, unfortunately, or fortunately, will always be a part of your life, so you may also figure out if you would be okay to share bills or merge both your accounts and work as one.
5. Future
Living in the moment can be a great thing, but when you decide to share your life with someone else, it’s also something that should be discussed. What you want from life should definitely be a part of your non-negotiable needs.
If you want to travel the world or live in a certain way, you should make this a subject that both of you should talk about. When it comes to our future, some things can be compromised,
but you need to ask yourself what those things are before committing to someone in a long-term relationship.
What is your deal-breaker in a relationship?
Non-negotiables are things you want from life or someone else, and unwilling to compromise on.
But even then, there are situations that you can reconsider what you want from life and readjust to someone else or your own non-negotiable needs. Non-negotiable needs can change with time because we are in a constant state of change.
So it’s okay to change your mind, as long as you are true to yourself and with the other person. However, deal breakers are things that you would never do, no matter what.
Those are the things that you wouldn’t change for anybody.
Dealbreakers can break relationships apart, and it’s most likely impossible to fix those once someone crosses the line. Unlike non-negotiables, deal-breakers tend to remain the same and less likely to be changed no matter which turns your life takes.
How to figure out your deal breakers in a relationship
The process to understand what your deal breakers are is a little similar to figuring out your non-negotiables. However, you will most certainly feel more strongly about it.
This is because deal breakers are usually things that we feel very firmly about, and perhaps you have known it for a long time.
An example of a very common deal-breaker is the possibility of becoming a parent. This is probably by far the one thing that can damage relationships.
Not wanting kids when your partner does, is an issue that will lead to no winners. It’s impossible to compromise on having children.
Deal breakers are things that you are not in any chance willing to change your mind on. Of course, you should discuss with your partner as soon as possible what your deal breakers are. There isn’t a right time, but the earlier, the better.
Because holding on to a relationship where one of you wants something that the other is not willing to even consider, is the perfect recipe for heartbreak. So have the talk and ensure that your deal breakers are not a reason for a break-up.
What are the signs when a relationship is over?
Many things can define if your relationship is over before you even break up. Of course, discussing your non-negotiable needs is a must to prevent future problems.
However, a simple method that can define if a relationship is prone to last or not is the rule of the three C’s which can be used to know if your relationship is healthy or if it’s over.
The three C’s of relationship are communication, commitment, and compromise. If both of you can no longer do these three things, you are heading for a breakup. The good news is that those three things can be fixed, but you will need to be on the same page to do so.
Relationships are hard, and they take work and a lot of communication and compromising, which is why sharing your non-negotiable needs with your partner can ensure that you’re not heading for a breakup.
“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” -Dalai Lama
Final Thoughts
Sharing the things that you are willing to compromise on or not is fundamental to have a happy relationship. You should not feel bad about doing so. If you are not happy, you will also cause the unhappiness of someone else.
Pleasing someone else’s wishes are not guaranteed a happy ending. Things need to be said, and as soon as you do, the faster you can focus on your happy future as a couple.
Figuring out what your non-negotiable deal-breakers are forms of self-love and also a way to ensure that you create a happy relationship for both of you. Don’t compromise on your happiness.
