The Marriage Audit 12 Questions That Every Couple Should Ask

Marriage is a beautiful journey that requires constant effort and communication from both partners. However, like any partnership, it’s important to periodically assess your marriage’s state to ensure both individuals are happy and thriving within the relationship. This is where “The Marriage Audit 12 Questions That Every Couple Should Ask” comes in.

This comprehensive set of questions is designed to prompt meaningful conversations between partners, helping them identify areas of strength and areas needing improvement within their marriage.

Whether it’s communication, intimacy, or finances, these questions touch on all the key aspects of a successful marriage.

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By taking the time to honestly and openly answer these questions, couples can gain valuable insights into their romantic relationship and work together to address any issues hindering their happiness.

Ultimately, “The Marriage Audit” is a powerful tool for couples to strengthen their bond and create a more fulfilling partnership. 

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In “the marriage audit: 12 questions every long-term couple should ask,” author David Boehi offers a comprehensive look at the crucial conversations every couple should have about their relationship. From communication to conflict resolution, this couples counselor book provides a roadmap for couples to navigate the ups and downs of married life.

Do you still make an effort with your appearance?

In the Marriage Audit 12 Questions, one important question is whether you still make an effort with your appearance. Maintaining your physical appearance can show your partner that you still care about yourself and the relationship. It can also contribute to keeping the spark alive in the marriage.

How much of your communication is about logistics?

One important aspect is how much of your communication as a couple is focused on logistics. This includes discussing schedules, chores, and other practical matters. It is important to assess whether these topics dominate your social media conversations and if they leave little room for more meaningful communication. 

How many interests do you share?

When evaluating the state of a marriage, one important aspect to consider is the number of interests shared by the couple. The Marriage Audit 12 Questions includes this as a key question, as it can indicate the level of common ground and shared experiences within the relationship. Sharing common interests can strengthen the bond between partners and lead to a more fulfilling marriage.

Do you kiss to say hello or goodbye?

Ask your partner. This question can reveal the level of intimacy and connection in the relationship. It also reflects the amount of physical affection and closeness between partners, which are important components of a healthy and happy marriage. 

Dinner and a box set every night — is your routine too predictable?

Are you and your spouse stuck in a dinner and box set routine every night? These relationship expert marriage counselor Questions can help you evaluate if your marriage has become too predictable. By asking important questions about your routine, you can work together to inject excitement and variety into your relationship.

Are there subjects you never talk about?

In the Marriage Audit 12 Questions, couples are asked if there are subjects they never talk about. This is an important question, as open communication is essential in a healthy marriage. Avoiding certain subjects can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. Couples need to address any topic, no matter how difficult.

Does the thought of an empty nest scare you?

As a marriage audit question, contemplating an empty nest can be exciting and daunting. It can bring up feelings of freedom and the opportunity to focus on one’s needs. Still, it can also highlight the potential loneliness and nostalgia brought on by the absence of children in the home.

Do you complain about your partner to friends?

Suppose your answer is yes to this question. In that case, it may be a sign that underlying issues in your relationship need to be addressed. Complaining about your partner to friends can create a negative atmosphere and potentially harm your relationship. Open communication with your partner is crucial for a healthy and thriving marriage.

Do you still hold hands?

In the Marriage Audit, one of the marriage questions and answers is, “Do you still hold hands?” This simple question can reveal a lot about the state of a marriage. Holding hands is a physical display of affection and connection, so if a couple no longer does this, it may indicate a lack of intimacy and closeness.

When was the last time you laughed together?

The Marriage Audit 12 Questions asks couples, “When was the last time you laughed together?” This question prompts couples to reflect on the joy and humor in their relationship. It encourages partners to remember happy moments and to make time for laughter, which can help strengthen their bond and create positive memories together.

Is the sex fun, or is it a chore?

The Marriage Audit 12 Questions challenges couples to consider whether sex is enjoyable or feels like a chore in their relationship. It prompts them to reflect on the level of passion and satisfaction in their physical intimacy. It encourages open communication about their sexual needs and desires to cultivate a fulfilling and healthy sex life.

Can you remember when you last learned a new thing about your partner?

The Marriage Audit 12 Questions asks, “Can you remember when you last learned a new thing about your partner?” This question prompts couples to reflect on the depth of their connection and the effort put into understanding each other. It serves as a reminder for staying connected and engaged in getting to know one another.

Warning: Sprinkle in some quality time before you say, “I do.”

Before you say “I do,” it’s important to take the time to evaluate your relationship and ensure that you are both on the same page. The Marriage Audit 12 Questions is an excellent tool to help couples do just that.

By asking about topics such as communication, conflict resolution, and goals for the future, this questionnaire allows partners to have open and honest conversations that can strengthen their bond.

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It also encourages couples to spend quality time together, discussing their answers and learning more about each other.

By sprinkling in some quality time before marriage, couples can address any potential issues and work towards a stronger, more fulfilling partnership. This proactive approach can help lay a solid foundation for a successful marriage.

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What are the 12 questions marriage audit?

The 12-question marriage audit is a tool for couples to assess their relationship health and identify areas for improvement. The marriage questions and answers cover various topics, including communication, intimacy, and shared values.

What are the 3 C’s of marriage?

The 3 C’s of marriage are communication, compromise, and commitment. These three qualities are essential for a healthy and lasting marriage.

How to do a marriage audit?

To do a marriage audit, couples should set aside time to discuss their relationship and answer questions about key areas of their life together.

What questions to ask to save a marriage?

Couples can ask each other questions about their communication, intimacy, shared values, and goals to identify areas for improvement and save their marriage.

How do I assess my marriage?

To assess your marriage, reflect on how you and your spouse communicate, connect, and support each other.

What is a relationship audit?

A relationship audit evaluates interpersonal connections, assessing communication, trust, and satisfaction. It aims to enhance relationships by identifying strengths and areas for improvement.

How do you evaluate someone for marriage?

Evaluate someone for marriage by considering shared vision, communication, trust, and compatibility. Assess emotional intelligence, financial goals, and long-term objectives to ensure a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.

What are the 3 values of marriage?

The three values of marriage typically include commitment, communication, and mutual respect. These foundational elements contribute to a strong and enduring partnership, fostering a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

What is the 3 3 3 rule for marriage?

The 3-3-3 rule for marriage is a simple way to make time for your partner and yourself. It involves spending 3 hours per week together, 3 hours apart doing something you enjoy, and 3 hours alone doing whatever you want.

What is John Gottman’s theory?

Dr. John Gottman’s theory is that happy couples have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions and avoid the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. 


In conclusion, conducting a marriage audit can be invaluable for couples looking to strengthen their relationship and create a solid foundation for the future. By asking the right questions, reflecting on individual and joint goals, and addressing any areas of concern, many couples can navigate challenges, foster open communication, and nurture their love. Remember, the key is approaching the marriage audit with honesty, vulnerability, and a commitment to growth. So, take the time to sit down together, answer the marriage audit 12 questions, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and deeper connection with your partner. Your relationship will thank you for it.

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